Yeah...I'll be a fulltime mama..erm...anything wrong with my decision? hehehe...nola...kidding come listen to my story..this will tell you who is jenlin and what she really wish to do...
Hrm frankly said I kind of like to be with kids. They are sincere and honest, whenever they are sad they will just cry, whenever they are happy they will sure jump around and play with you, whenever they don't like you they will not avoid you but just say "i don't want to friend you" but after a while they will be hugging and kissing you..hehe they are so sweet...not like adults when they like you they talk to you and treat you good, when they don't like you they will show faces and some people might start to talk bad about you and criticised you...adults see people to make friends...adults always look down on you....hrm I guess adults plus myself should learn from the small kids....
During my college life, some of the weekends I used to stay over at my brother place. I have a nephew named Joseph. He is a very smart and nice kid. That time he was just 4 years old. When my brother and sister in law were busy running their restaurant I'm the one who take care of him at night till they reached home, normally at 3am.
When I was with him....he will ask me "Er Goo Goo (2nd aunty) what is the time now? Why they not yet come back?" He is a small kid I as an adult need to explain to him "Joseph...pap and ma need to work hard to earn money for you to study and pay for your daily expenses." Joseph continue "but I thought they start working when I go to vital years(his kindergraden), aren't they?" I tell him "yes pa and ma is running a restaurant, a place where people having their food?...yeah...people had their dinner sometimes early and sometimes late, when people came in late pa and ma have to wait for them lor." Joseph asked again "but how about me? I come back from school so early and I wait and wait still cannot see Papa and mommy" and after that I don't know what to say and I scratch his back and ask him to sleep....his mommy used to scratch his back to make him sleep when he was still a baby...just imagine now hsi mommy is not there but just the maid...
I keep thinking yeah..Joseph go to school early in the morning came back from the school, he will stay with the maid where she will cook for him sometimes just a maggi mee or just tar pao from outside (just imagine a small kid like him eating outside food and maggi mee? those MSG will spoilt his brain). The time Joseph spent with his parent is just 2-3 hours in the morning after he woke up, then he have to wait until the next morning. In that 2-3 hours how much he can talk to them? In the morning my bro and sister in law always busy preparing food for business...he always walk into the kitchen and back to the dinning room coz he was asked to go away from the kitchen.
Hrm...I can see how he feel.....Although he is just a small kid he knows the feeling of getting seperated from his parents.......he knows who he wants to be with but he don't have the chance to be with them....During that time, I am the closest one to him. Every time whenever I have the time off I will come to visit him at my bro house.....when he was asked to draw picture of someone he closest with in the school...he drew me on his drawing paper and wrote on the top er goo goo. Whenever teacher asked him who you like the most in the family he told the teacher its "er goo goo". Why me? Deep in his heart I'm very sure he can draw pa and ma in that piece of drawing paper.
From that time onwards....I tell myself I will always be my children's companion...friends....and to be with them when they need me. When I gave birth to a son I really wanted to take care of my son but looking at my husband working alone and now I'm staying with my parents in law I really can't stay at home and let them work. I tell myself is ok....just let him be and don't worry....deep in my heart almost every day I wish I can stay at home be with him.
Time passed by my son is almost 8 months now. This is the time where he needs people to teach him to talk and learn and feed him proper meal to help him grow. When other people take care they won't be as tidious as yourself. This is why I decided to give up my job and stay with him.....I am very happy with my decision and my husband also told me "is better for you to take care of Ethan =)"
From tomorrow onwards I will start my plan and prepare recipe for Ethan's every meal. I will cook for him healthy food. And will be fully responsible on his health and everything.......I always like kids....that's why when I be with them I am very happy and have nothing to think of....
Hahaha....this is me...I always wanted to be a housewife and cook different meal everyday for my family and most importantly spare my time with my son. I wanted to see him growing everyday...changing everyday....and I will note it down and take some photo for him to see in the future. If i didn't give up my job I will missed out all these steps......it might be a small thing for you but for me his every moment is important for me.... =)
Thats why I resigned and here I am haha...Ethan is here in my sleeping room...I whisper through his ears telling him mommy will be at home with you from today onwards =) and give him a kiss on his cheek and say goodnight =)
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